FetLife Is Broken
It’s been broken since the beginning, branding itself as a safe space for BDSM yet plagued with issues that, to this day, go unaddressed. Whether through corruption, ignorance, or ineptitude, what should have been a thriving kinky social network has become a toxic minefield. Kinksters deserve a safe community where they feel protected and heard.
But is Bitlove interested in building one?
Super Loves Over Safety: How FetLife Fails its Community
On April 30, 2025, A New York man named Ryan Hemphill was arrested on over 116 charges, including predatory sexual assault, strangulation, and bribery. Prosecutors allege that FetLife was among the platforms he used to find his victims — we are currently aware of six. As for FetLife, it has remained almost entirely silent.
Exactly as expected.
Guest Post: FetLife and Sex Trafficking
It’s often been said that FetLife’s promises of safety are hollow. One community member found this out the hard way. The social network was involved in one of the most traumatic experiences of her life — and when it came time for them to fulfill what one might consider their duty of care, leadership did nothing.
Guest Post: Silenced for Speaking Truth
In our first post, we touched on some of the ways FetLife reportedly silences community members for speaking up and speaking out. Today, we’re sharing the story of someone who was on the receiving end of those tactics. Here, in their words, is how FetLife punished them for speaking about racism.
The Rot That’s Killing FetLife
On January 3, 2008, software engineer John “Baku” launched FetLife.com. Previously known as Friends with Fetishes, the site was originally intended to help him find partners interested in kink. At the time, Baku probably didn't realize how popular the social network would become.
Or how controversial.